How Postive Thinking Can Mess You Up

Changing your mindset from a defeatist, fearful place (I suck; This is so hard; I will never be thin; I will always struggle; UGH.), to an affirming, supportive one (I’m going to give this my all; I’m willing to work at this; I know I can do this!), is a critical part of my Smaller Size Bigger Life weight loss program.

Once you move from fear (I’m such a loser) to flow (I’ve got this), you’ll discover that you can feel good right now, not just 10, 20, 30, or 100 pounds from right now.

And managing your negative self-talk with positive affirmations (also called mantras or power thoughts) will get you the long-lasting results you’ve never achieved before.

Your thoughts and words are just that powerful. In fact, research proves that affirmations help to reprogram the subconscious mind. Translation:

Positive Weight Loss Thoughts = Positive Weight Loss Results

Your thoughts drive your actions. However, if you’re not careful, positive thinking can totally mess you up. If the affirmation you use feels like a lie you’ll end up feeling like an inauthentic phony. You’ll stay stuck, and the self deception will create even more confusion and inner conflict…

Unsupportive thought:
What’s the use? I’ll always be overweight.

Affirmation: I am slender, happy, and peaceful.

Follow-up thought: Oh really, then how come my too-tight jeans are making me feel so anxious and cranky?

The trick is to soften the affirmation to something that is believable, something that feels TRUE…

Unsupportive thought: What’s the use? I’ll always be overweight.

Affirmation: I choose to see this differently.

Follow-up thought: Yup, I can see this in a new light. I can choose a better thought. I can do this.

Easy, peasy. The good-feeling affirmation will send your thoughts in a positive direction. It’s the feeling (not the actual words) that create the energy for change, so an affirmation becomes effective only when it elicits an empowered emotion.

So today (as in right now), start paying attention to your thoughts (the bad thoughts can really sneak up on ya, so you’ve gotta stay tuned in), and replace the negative and nasty ones with a power thought that rings true to you.

Concentrate on just this one thing each day, and your life will get happier and your weight loss journey will get much easier.

But saying an affirmation just a few times a day (and impatiently wondering why nothing happens) won’t change your life. If you want to change the neural pathways in your brain you have to be consistent.

Check out this fascinating video from Dr. Joe Dispenza, a neuroscientist who teaches people how to change from the inside out…

WOWSA! I just love that. The brain is always changing, and with patience and persistence you can forge new pathways and create new habits. Throwing out the mental trash is a practice, and one that you do every single day.

And if you want to feel really good, really fast (yes, please!) be sure to cue your environment.

Place affirmations, feel-good pictures, and inspiring quotes where you will see them on a daily basis. Put them on the refrigerator, on your car dashboard, or post them to your bathroom mirror. Make your favorite mantra your screensaver on your phone and computer. Or, like me, you can share the love and post positive messages all over social media (Hello, have you seen my Facebook page!?).

Dr. Dispenza says environmental cues “keep you on task by reminding you that what you are doing is important. The more you stay conscious of your future, the more inspired you will be to overcome your present reality.”

Here are a few of my favorite affirmations to get you started…




I’ve been using affirmations for over 10 years now, because they really work.

Try this: Use affirmations while you shift and examine your shadow beliefs (learn how here) and adopt some daily healthy habits (here are five weight loss habits that guarantee your success). You’ll reach your goals faster than you ever thought possible, seriously.

Happiness is always just one powerful thought away.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. How do you deal with nagging negative thoughts? Do you have a favorite mantra or affirmation you use on daily basis? Please share your positive-thinking tips and tricks in the comments below.

With love,


8 Responses to “How Postive Thinking Can Mess You Up”

  1. Sharon says:

    I enjoyed your article “How Positive Thinking Can Mess You up. The video was interesting. I have to agree that if you think negatively everything around you is a pain. However, if you are true with your positive thoughts with out embellishing them…you always stay true to yourself.

  2. Heather K. Jones says:

    Hi Sharon! Love this… “if you are true with your positive thoughts without embellishing them…” YES, if they FEEL good to you you are staying true to yourself. And that is the most important part of thinking yourself into a better feeling 🙂

  3. Denise says:

    I had a motivational speaker once tell me to remind myself that “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. I try to keep this in mind through my rough times!

  4. Nour Zibdeh says:

    Heather… I’m loving your posts! Thanks for talking about this!!!

  5. Heather K. Jones says:

    Thank you so much, Nour! Changing my thinking was life changing for me… I love sharing what has helped me.

  6. Marjie says:

    I just found you today. I have been searching for a way to be healthy. You are my saviour! Thank you so much for this opportunity and all that you do! I have lost 100 lbs, but I need help with my emotional eating, I have about 50 more lbs to go and I really need help! I signed up for the upcoming class and am looking forward to it very much. I have a lot of health issues and haven’t been taking care of myself well. I am a Diet feelers just like you! I am determined to follow you because you know what it is like and understand what I am going through. Thank you so much!!!!!!

  7. Heather K. Jones says:

    Hey Marjie! You are so welcome. Thank you for all the kind words. 100 pounds lost, WAHOO! That is awesome. CONGRATS! Yes, I can absolutely help you with the emotional eating. Smaller Size Bigger Life (SSBL) is for emotional eaters, binge eaters, overeaters, and anyone with body image issues. And I LOVE working with Diet Feelers! Please let me know if you have any questions. I will be sending an email about SSBL soon. Sending you positive energy – Heather

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