20 Super Simple Ways To Release Fear And Weight

When women come to me to lose weight they’re usually full of fear.


They fear that their bodies are broken. They fear that they’ll be stuck in a body they hate forever. They fear that they’ll have to give up all their favorite foods to lose weight. They fear that happiness is just not in the cards for them.


Some women fear failure, while others fear success.


All of them fear that they’re just not good enough. I have that fear too. We all do! And while the “not good enough” fear is actually quite normal, letting it stop you from reaching your goals is a tragedy.


Breaking free from the fears that are blocking your success is a critical part of my Smaller Size Bigger Life weight loss program. Flower promo

But an easy and fast way to begin releasing your fears (and your weight!) is with simple daily acts of self-kindness.


Sure, diet and exercise is an important part of weight loss and healthy living, but learning to love yourself (not 20, 30, or 100 pounds from now, but right now) is just as important. Here’s why…


What you focus on expands. Self-care is showing up for yourself with love and kindness on a moment-to-moment basis. And the more you act like you’re worth it (and YOU are so worth it), the more you enhance your self esteem, the more your fears subside, and the more you feel driven to care for yourself.


More joy means less emotional eating. The more you fill your life with fun, self-care, and joy, the less you’ll need to fill up on food for emotional fulfillment.


Less stress equals less weight. Stress has a huge (and I mean HUGE) impact on your health and your weight. Among other things stress slows your metabolism, intensifies cravings, and increases abdominal fat storage. So as daily joy increases, stress decreases, your body relaxes… and you lose weight.


One of my lovely readers emailed me that this is her self-appointed “Summer of Self.” I LOVE that! And I think we should all join her.


Here are 20 easy, breezy ways to live like you love yourself this summer…


1. Buy yourself fresh flowers. This is a totally affordable and uplifting way to show up for yourself.


2. While you’re brushing your teeth think of two things you really like about yourself. Are you generous? Do you have beautiful hair? Maybe you’re an awesome listener. Try to come up with different ideas each day.


3. Use healing affirmations to focus your mind. Learn how here. Nothing will make you feel better faster, seriously.


4. Get outside and reconnect with nature. Even just ten minutes on a park bench or in a garden will sooth your spirit.


5. Drink lots and lots of water.


6. Listen to calming chant music while you cook, fold laundry, or do other house chores – check out my favorite chant CD here.


7. While taking your morning shower think about the kind of day you’d like to have. Try picking a positive word or an affirmation for each day.


8. Take two minutes and write down three things you’re thankful for today. I love this simple and modern gratitude journal.


9. Take a long, luxurious bath. Use candles, fluffy towels, relaxing music, and bath salts – the whole shebang. This is my favorite de-stresser ever.


10. Start your day with a delicious and nourishing green smoothie. You’ll find tons of recipes here.


11. Indulge in a “beach read.” Forget the heady and heavy stuff and just pick up something light and uplifting.


12. Have a cup tea while listening to rainy mood and reading said indulgent beach read. Heaven.


13. Tune-in to FREE Hay House Radio. My absolute favorite show is Coach On Call with Cheryl Richardson. (Pssst, I’m giving away Cheryl’s audio book The Art Extreme Self Care on Facebook – go here to enter to win!)


14. Notice and celebrate your small successes. Keep a daily success journal (here’s a good one) to help you stay focused on all the things you’re doing right.


15. Listen to an empowering audio book on your commute to work. Try this one, or this one, or even this one. Or this one I’m giving away on Facebook.


16. Quiet your mind. Even just five minutes a day makes a big difference. Try the guided imagery techniques in this fantastic (and free!) MP3.


17. Say no if you’re just not in the mood to go out to lunch, grab a drink, or have people over. Take time for yourself when you need it.


18. Visit your local farmers market and load your fridge with seasonal fruits and veggies. If you keep good food in the kitchen, you’ll eat good food. Need some new recipe ideas? Search the massive Skinnytaste database here.


19. Take five deep breathes before you start eating. Life changing.


20. Pull up a happy memory and take five minute to relive it. Go through the feelings you experienced and the details of that moment.



Often we think we can’t be happy until we lose weight. But we have it all backwards – concentrate on being happy and kind to yourself right now, right here in this moment, and the pounds will naturally start to melt away. Try it and see what happens. 


I’m curious, what are your biggest weight loss fears or negative thoughts? And how can you start showing up for yourself right now? I’d love to hear from you!


Tons of love,




P.S. Smaller Size Bigger Life is an online weight loss program for women that focuses on freedom and flow instead of diets (ugh) and deprivation (no thank you!). You can jump on the waitlist here.

31 Responses to “20 Super Simple Ways To Release Fear And Weight”

  1. Erin says:

    I love this. Thank you so much…

  2. One of my biggest fears about my body weight and image is that my weight will constantly be in a state of flux. I’m not overweight, but I have a terrible time maintaining it at a stable number. In the last several years, it has fluctuated. It seems like I’m always losing and putting back on the same 10 – 15 lbs. I know this a small thing compared to people who have 80 or more pounds to have a healthy weight, but it would be nice to find that resting place for my weight and not be freaked out that I’m not doing enough in terms of diet and exercise.

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Hi Lorell – yup, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Living in that constant state of panic (regardless of how much weight you have to lose) takes away your daily peace, right? I would start now by working on your mindset, truly. Work on weeding out your attack thoughts – helpful and kind thoughts lead to helpful actions and bring you peace in the moment. Check out this article here (http://www.heatherkjones.com/self-love-your-way-to-a-slimmer-body/how-positive-thinking-can-mess-you-up) and pick a healing affirmation for each day to replace your attack thoughts. Sounds simple but it’s life changing. And be sure to jump on the waitlist for my upcoming group coaching program. We will cover this in depth! Heather

  3. Jeanna says:

    I LOVE what you share. I need this. Your messages (especially this one) inspire me and feed my spirit. I have struggled with disordered eating since the 2nd grade…I am now 39. I am ready for peace. I am grateful for you and your desire to help, inspire, and motivate people like me.

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Hey Jeanna – YES, feeding your spirit is so important. I love that you said that – you are right on track. Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate it!

  4. Debbie says:

    My biggest weight loss fear is that I am post menopausal and hear so many things that we are destined to carry extra weight after that.
    I know in my heart of hearts that I can do this….it’s not an option not to 🙂

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Debbie – always listen to you heart. The heart always knows – ALWAYS. And I agree – you can do this!

      I found this awesome article on peri-menopause and the wisdom of menopause here from Dr. Northrup – she is fantastic. (http://www.drnorthrup.com/womenshealth/healthcenter/topic_details.php?topic_id=111)

      I love this line from the article…

      “Although women have been taught to dread menopause, this life stage ushers in the springtime of the second half of life and is often accompanied by surges in creativity, vitality, newfound ambition, and the need to be of meaningful service to the community in a larger way.”

  5. Janelle says:

    I think my biggest fear – and this may sound odd – is that I’ll actually be successful. I’ve been struggling with my weight for so long and it’s such a part of my life I don’t know what I would do if I wasn’t worrying about it or beating myself up over it. What happens when I actually reach my goals – then what?

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Hey Janelle – yup, I totally know what you mean. It sounds likes dieting is your hobby, right? A lot of of us fear success – cause success means we will have to participate fully in life. We will have to be seen, and that can seem scary. So know that you are not alone in that, truly.

      I would journal about your fear of being seen – just start to explore that idea, see what comes up.

      I’ve found that the best way to get un-stuck is to gently face our fears. Once you stop trying to lose weight you can start LIVING. Try this – think about how you want to FEEL when you reach your goals. For example do you want to feel adventurous, connected, or loved? And what can you do to feel adventurous TODAY? How can you make yourself feel loved or connected TODAY? Don’t wait on the weight, this just keeps you stuck, start cultivating those feelings in your life today. Brainstorm some ideas and just do one small thing at a time- those small steps will lead to BIG changes! And definitely start to work on weeding out your attack thoughts. Use healing affirmations to help focus your mind 🙂

  6. Gabby says:

    My biggest fear is that at 20 years old I will not be able to shed the weight for good and that I will get really sick because of my weight which will be all my fault because I was too lazy to lose weight. I also fear that once I do lose the weight my life won’t improve the way I want it to.

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Hey Gabby! Yup, we will be covering all of these things Smaller Size Bigger Life. I can tell you this, you absolutely CAN lose the weight and keep it off.

      I would start by working on your mindset – program your mind for success. This is always the best place to start! And don’t wait you lose weight to improve your life. START NOW. Make a list filling in the blank… “When I’m thin I will ___________ ” Just list as many things as you can think of. And then just pick one and start working on that one thing TODAY 🙂

  7. Adrienne says:

    I never thought of it as fear, but I do have fears about losing weight. I fear that I will fail…again. I fear that the effort will be too hard. I fear that my kids will think I’m a failure. I had all of these thoughts before but I don’t think I’ve ever thought of it as fear.

    • Heather says:

      Hi Adrienne – often our fears are pushed way down in our sub-conscious, so naming them and starting to look at them is a great first step! We all have fears… what matters is how we deal with those fears. Deal with them gently and with compassion and you will reach your goals so much faster.

  8. Linda says:

    I’ve never thought that I have a fear of losing weight, but maybe I do. When I start to lose weight, it seems that I always sabotage myself. I have recently lost about 7 pounds and tonight, after my husband went to bed, I ate a lot of macaroni salad that he wanted me to make. Now I feel stuffed, bloated and disgusted with myself! I am 67 years old and I want to be healthy and live a long life. I know I need to exercise to be healthier, but I don’t. If you have any suggestions to help me, I would greatly appreciate it!

  9. Chris Hollis says:

    I’ve been reading The Tapping Solution For Weight Loss per your recommendation and can see that you and Jessica Ortner have similar beliefs. Reading these 20 things caused me to shed some tears for some reason. I’m ready to put the practice of loving myself and daily gratitude into action. I’m 54 and it’s time. Thank you for the hope and encouragement.

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Hi Chris – EFT is an awesome tool for weight loss and a happy life. I LOVE Jessica’s message. Tears are a good thing… it means your heart is opening and you are ready to show up for yourself.

      You are so welcome, I’m so happy to share what has helped me.

  10. sheila says:

    My fear is that I will never reach my goal weight. I am on medication (Prednozone) which makes it difficult to lose weight. I try so hard to follow an eating plan. I have been on this medication for 2 years and likely to be on it for life.

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Hi Sheila – I’m so sorry you are struggling. Have you heard of the book Mind Over Medicine? Check it out! I think it could help you as you deal with medications and medial issues. Also, You Can Heal Your Body by Louise Hay is totally worth a read. I really believe that we have to help ourselves heal as much as we can 🙂

      Sending you love – Heather

  11. Nancy says:

    Hi Heather,
    Just a few days ago I lucked upon Skinny Taste recipe on Pinterest, which lead me to the website, then I saw the button on her page for you. I am getting warm fuzzies inside this was all meant to be. I love everything I have read and took the test and am a Diet Feeler too! My biggest fear is just convincing myself that it is POSSIBLE to lose weight. I look foward to what is ahead and think there is a light shining in the distance….probably your smile! Warmly, Nancy

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Hey Nancy! Thank you so much for all the support! I’m SO happy you found me through Skinnytaste. I’m the nutrition expert on the upcoming Skinnytaste book – the recipes are just amazing!

      Love that you are a Diet Feeler too…I work with tons of Feelers. Please know that it is 100% possible for you to lose weight – 100% possible!

      But also know that you are not alone in that fear, not at all. I would start using an affirmation to help you shift that fear belief. Start paying attention to how often you say or think “weight loss is impossible for me” or some other fear based weight loss thought. And just replace the fear thought with this affirmation…

      “I am capable of change.” OR “I’m willing to change.”

      Just start by doing that one thing and see how you feel. You can learn more here – http://www.heatherkjones.com/self-love-your-way-to-a-slimmer-body/how-positive-thinking-can-mess-you-up

      Are you on the waitlist for my Smaller Size Bigger Life course? Jump on the list here – http://www.smallersizebiggerlife.com

      And please let me know if you have any questions!



  12. Nancy says:

    Hi Heather,
    First of all THANK YOU for taking the time to write back! I can only imagine how busy your life is, and managing all the social media stuff.

    I have seen so many things on your website and many moons ago bought the very same Louise Hays (or is it Hayes lol)book “You Can Heal Your Life” which is a fantastic book!I am going to blow the dust off it and start re-reading it tonight. I saw your story about coming up with a mantra, and I said that’s going to be my new mantra that “I am willing to change!”

    I want to be your poster child for BEFORE and AFTERS on Small Size Bigger Life. You betcha I signed up, can’t wait to dive right in. You are good people Heather with good JuJu and I am SOOOOO HAPPY to have found you!

    I ordered my cookbook today and saw your name on the cover…be proud, be very, very proud. Cartwheels for ya!

    Hugs and Happiness!
    Nancy in Kansas

  13. Heather K. Jones says:

    Nancy, YOU are good people too 🙂 Thank you so much for all the kinds words! You will love You Can Heal You Life. Louise Hay is just amazing.


  14. Mary says:

    My biggest fear is: what to do with myself if not eating, thinking about eating, planning my eating, worrying about my eating….eating and dieting is what i do with my “me time”….. since 1973 when I was just a kid! Looking for a different way of living. 🙂

  15. denise says:

    My body has been my enemy my whole life, I can not remember a time (thin or heavy or anywhere in between that I was not fighting it!). I want to change that, I want to care for it, love it and have it be healthy and beautiful, I am afraid that for whatever reason I am not capable of that and it breaks my heart, it is a source of pain daily!

    I have never written or said these worlds aloud, it’s hard to actually see it in black and white but it is what it is

  16. Miriam says:

    I am with Debbie, i am post menapausal and have about 30 lbs i have been carrying after my 3 boys who are fathers of there own now!!! lol..lol.. and i lose and gain back those same pounds.

  17. My big weight loss fears: I need to be fitted to like myself. When I gain some weight, I get in a bad mood, I feel with no power. I feel powerful when I can control my eating, because I feel that I have a bigger power over food. And not the food control my life. I just accept myself when I look at the mirror and I see that I am fitting well in my clothes. I feel accepted.

  18. Nancy says:

    This is really scary to admit, but I think I am afraid if I lose weight, I will outlive my husband, be left alone and will be overwhelmed with responsibilities for the kids, house, car, life in general. My mom was widowed at a pretty young age and it was very hard to watch her deal with all this as the surviving parent.

    • Heather K. Jones says:

      Great awareness, Nancy. Once you deal with that fear the weight will come off easily. We will talk about this in week 2 of the Summer Session. XO

  19. oy ramsey says:

    Smaller size bigger life is a different approach to losing wait with the focus on bigger life has peaked my interest. The bigger life focus on me and journaling is the journey to take my mind of the weight I need to lose as a diabetic. When I think of working out on the tread mill or walking using videos and don’t see much progress, my mind and the focus becomes dull and I slowly slip away from the excitement of working towards losing wait. I was challenged in 2014 to lose 8 pounds, which I did and kept it off. Its hard to lose weight to get pass the eight pounds when I need to lose 59 pounds less the 8.

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